Konnichiwa. Watashi wa bakayaro desu.

After all my newscast browsing, tabloid searching, and extensive Net searches, I have finally found the one person I have been looking for...the person truly worthy of the title of "Supreme Moron"!

And who is illustrious being who makes Roy Moore look like William Rhenquist, who gazes upon the likes of George W. Bush and swears he's talking to Einstein?

Well.....that would be me.

Monday, after our 2.5 mile run, one of my instructors advised me not to bring my wallet with me to PT today, but rather to just bring my room key and ID card.

Sure enough, I shouldn't have listened...after the soccer game was over, I noticed my key was missing. I knew I'd stuck it in my sock, so I checked...again and again.....not there.

I scoured the soccer field...nada.

Worried, I ran to the BEQ office hoping someone had turned it in...and promptly tripped on the staircase.

That's not the best part, however. The odd angle my foot landed at was painful enough, but then I noticed a rather sharp stabbing sensation, and saw a nice little splotch of red growing around my ankle.

Immediately I pulled my shoe and shin guard off, peeled the lightly bloodied sock away...and what should I see leaving a small gash in my foot but my key.

*The Great Stone Block Of Kanji That Says "BAKA!" (tm) falls on his head* That's the last time I ever take advice from a Sailor!

...Oh, and if anyone couldn't translate the title, it reads "Hello. I'm a dumbass."

Huh...how's THAT for odd behavior...

We've all heard of numerous different types of supernatural, magical, or otherwise unexplainable traits many people seem to exhibit. Reading people's minds, seeing the future, moving objects with a thought, talking to animals, setting things on fire just by looking at them...

I've seen some strange kinds of magic before, but this ability I've been gifted with just takes the cake on weird...with just a whistle I can shut off a car alarm.

If it's right next to me the effect is almost immediate...if it's a ways away and I can't see it, sometimes it takes a second or two, but no matter the case, I just shut my eyes and whistle the same tone that the control devices for car alarms make (that familiar "Beep...blip-blip") and the vehicle immediately goes silent.

It's kinda creepy, but it has its uses...like shutting up a car alarm that goes off while I'm listening to an MP3 for example.


....And no, I'm not a car thief, thank you very much.