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I know I've talked a lot about my ladyfriend, Nelly, whom in about a week and a half I'll finally be seeing face to face for the first time...I know I've mentioned quite a number of good things about her to some of my closest friends...
But, I have a confession to make...for the past few weeks, I wasn't 100% sure if I was, in fact, in love or not...mainly because I'd never really known the feeling. Sure, I'd had relations in the past...both of them turned out so horridly, my heart just seemed to close itself up out of fear, preferring to forgo love so as not to risk being hurt again.
But now...now I know for certain. How do I know? Well...I guess you could say I'm about the only person on earth who's, even in a small way, thankful for that disaster called Hurricane Isabel. I've realized over the past few days that if I didn't truly love her, there's no way I'd be worried so sickly over her knowing she was right in the storm's path.
That eliminated just about all of my doubts, but something still lingered within me that just had to whisper to me that annoying question..."Are you sure?"
I just wish I could've found a less painful way to shut it up...about 10 minutes ago, the audio alert I set up on AIM to tell me milady was online went off. I checked, and sure enough, there was her screenname, highlighted in black with the "User is online" open-door logo right next to it.
I couldn't believe it at first...I thought her modem was fried from the emails she'd sent from a friend's house. But within a second or two I finally snapped out of it and said hello, trying to contain all the joy and relief I was feeling at the moment.
She logged off without even saying a word.
That action right there is what silenced that little nag of confusion in my heart...because, for some bizarre reason that I can't even begin to guess at even with all my intuitive ability, that shot right through me so hard it hurt in every way possible...physical, psychological, spiritual, you name it...it still hurts. I don't know why...it just does.
Still, I suppose I can take one little bit of relief out of this...I can now say that I know for a fact what love feels like.
And even as much as it hurts....I'll take it.
But, I have a confession to make...for the past few weeks, I wasn't 100% sure if I was, in fact, in love or not...mainly because I'd never really known the feeling. Sure, I'd had relations in the past...both of them turned out so horridly, my heart just seemed to close itself up out of fear, preferring to forgo love so as not to risk being hurt again.
But now...now I know for certain. How do I know? Well...I guess you could say I'm about the only person on earth who's, even in a small way, thankful for that disaster called Hurricane Isabel. I've realized over the past few days that if I didn't truly love her, there's no way I'd be worried so sickly over her knowing she was right in the storm's path.
That eliminated just about all of my doubts, but something still lingered within me that just had to whisper to me that annoying question..."Are you sure?"
I just wish I could've found a less painful way to shut it up...about 10 minutes ago, the audio alert I set up on AIM to tell me milady was online went off. I checked, and sure enough, there was her screenname, highlighted in black with the "User is online" open-door logo right next to it.
I couldn't believe it at first...I thought her modem was fried from the emails she'd sent from a friend's house. But within a second or two I finally snapped out of it and said hello, trying to contain all the joy and relief I was feeling at the moment.
She logged off without even saying a word.
That action right there is what silenced that little nag of confusion in my heart...because, for some bizarre reason that I can't even begin to guess at even with all my intuitive ability, that shot right through me so hard it hurt in every way possible...physical, psychological, spiritual, you name it...it still hurts. I don't know why...it just does.
Still, I suppose I can take one little bit of relief out of this...I can now say that I know for a fact what love feels like.
And even as much as it hurts....I'll take it.
