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The past few days, it seems my mind just won't wind down for the evening, no matter what I try. It just keeps running in high gear, thinking of all sorts of things...scenarios from stories I imagine but never get to writing, memories of those close to me, especially one particular ex, that I lost contact with over the years for various reasons, sketch ideas that are well beyond my current skills, annoyances from the day that get subconsciously blown way out of proportion to the point that I can't help but find the absurdity hilarious...all through the night, making it all but impossible for me to get to sleep.
Tonight's apparently no different, with the aforementioned ex weighing especially heavy on my thoughts, to the point I once again make one of my occasional searches of the 'net to see how she's doing. Gives me a strange sense of peace to see a picture of her smiling face again and to know that she's doing well, even despite how hard I took our break-up.
I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm still in love with her...I guess I just miss that feeling of contention I always had just being with her, even if absolutely nothing was going on. Rather doubt I'll ever find that kind of connection with someone again...certainly not up here, anyway, despite my dad's apparent recent obsession with playing matchmaker.
Not to say I'm down or anything. Far from it, really: Work's enjoyable for the most part (though it still bugs me how, when I attempt to re-pack someone's bag after I'm done checking it, it seems to have about 50% more stuff in it), the folks there are great, the scenery around here's beautiful, work on the house is more or less enjoyable...I still miss living in a more metropolitan area sometimes (would especially love to move back to the DC area, especially if there was some small airport around there about the size of this one!), but still, I can't really complain about my life.
Except, of course, for the fact that I can't find the off switch.
...Oh, there it is. Heh, guess putting all this out there kinda helped. Well, whatever, I'm not questioning it.
Oyasuminasai, mina. ^_^
Tonight's apparently no different, with the aforementioned ex weighing especially heavy on my thoughts, to the point I once again make one of my occasional searches of the 'net to see how she's doing. Gives me a strange sense of peace to see a picture of her smiling face again and to know that she's doing well, even despite how hard I took our break-up.
I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm still in love with her...I guess I just miss that feeling of contention I always had just being with her, even if absolutely nothing was going on. Rather doubt I'll ever find that kind of connection with someone again...certainly not up here, anyway, despite my dad's apparent recent obsession with playing matchmaker.
Not to say I'm down or anything. Far from it, really: Work's enjoyable for the most part (though it still bugs me how, when I attempt to re-pack someone's bag after I'm done checking it, it seems to have about 50% more stuff in it), the folks there are great, the scenery around here's beautiful, work on the house is more or less enjoyable...I still miss living in a more metropolitan area sometimes (would especially love to move back to the DC area, especially if there was some small airport around there about the size of this one!), but still, I can't really complain about my life.
Except, of course, for the fact that I can't find the off switch.
...Oh, there it is. Heh, guess putting all this out there kinda helped. Well, whatever, I'm not questioning it.
Oyasuminasai, mina. ^_^