I should have known this wasn't going to go smoothly.

Previously stated problem: Hospital wants me to pay them $11,000.

Option 1: Get VA to retroactively cover me for it.
Status: FAILED.

Option 2: Apply for financial assistance to get up to 100% of bill revoked.
Status: FAILING.
-Financial dept. wants 1 additional form from me: my last pay stub from the TSA. If I don't provide it by the 17th, the application gets denied.
-TSA webpage has locked out my login to the website that I could download that from, due to me no longer being an employee.
-In order to get it, I have to send in a written request and receive it in the mail.
-The speed government works at, especially around the holidays? It'll be a miracle if I get the damned thing at any point in 2013.

Projected likelihood of getting it in the time I need it: 0.001%


Shit.