Shall we play a game?

[xaq_the_aereon]

Alright everybirdie, the results from the earlier post are in, and now it's time to reveal what I was gearing towards: a game.




(UPDATE: As of 5:20 PM local time, 01/09/2013, all achievements have been unlocked!!)

(Enable BGM?)
It is New Year's Day, and to celebrate, you have joined some of your classmates from St. Pigeonation's to go down to the local shrine. As you get there, you notice the place is strangely empty, even compared to its usual sparsity of visitors. As you get further in, however, you see why: a Komodo Dragon has apparently decided to sunbathe in the middle of the shrine grounds and scared everybirdie off!

"The Black Serpent of Agony has appeared!" The startled, slightly agonized cry of the luzon who stands beside your group startles you...where'd he come from, anyway? Before you can ask, he tosses you a pen used in drawing manga. "Go forth, Scarlet Knight of the Sephirot! It is your destiny to wield Sae'krom, the holy spear, and slay this beast!"

Looks like you've picked up a weird one, my friend. Rummaging through your backpacks, you and your classmates scrounge together a few items you can use to deal with the situation. Things do not look very promising, however, as all that you have are a packet of Tat-P pudding mix, a unicycle, a paintbrush that (for some reason) is still wet with purple paint, a packet of millet seeds, the key to your locker, a unicycle, and the loony luzon's pen.



To play, reply with what you wish to do, such as "Use Unicycle on Self" or "Coo at Sae'krom." Grammar doesn't have to be perfect; as long as the system can make sense of what you say, that should work.
(UPDATE: Due to xviith_et_seq's excessive and increasingly confusing use of them to the point of literally leaving me with a migraine, ANGHELISMS WILL NO LONGER BE ACKNOWLEDGED. Your text entry is simulating a controller input for God's sake.)
If you wish to use the Move command, simply say "Move to ____" using the following list as reference:
-Shrine to move to the center dot on the mini-map
-Entrance to move along the lower-left path
-Woods to move along the central-right path
-Spring to move along the upper-left path behind the shrine.
So, for example, if you wanted to return to the entrance, you would type in "Move to Entrance."

After you have entered a command, the system will reply letting you know the consequences, for good or ill (most likely ill) of your actions. Afterwards, assuming you didn't get yourself horribly maimed or killed, you can input another command and try again.

Good luck, and try your best to survive this latest peril to come to Littledove Hachiman City!

UPDATE: There is no need spoiler-tag your replies; I only spoiler-tagged the game so that it didn't take up a boatload of space on your page on the off-chance you didn't want to play.

UPDATE: Okay, since this has come up a number of times now: While other characters get mentioned in the text a few times, the only 2 characters you're able to interact with in any way on the first screen are yourself and the Komodo dragon.


ENDINGS UNLOCKED: 6/6
-ENDING 1: Say Your Prayers (Normal End) (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-ENDING 2: Tale of the Dragonslayer (Bad End) (unlocked by davidn)
-ENDING 3: There Goes The Neighborhood! (WTF End) (unlocked by davidn)
-ENDING 4: True Pudding Awaits! (Pudding End) (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-ENDING 5: Coo The Hell Do You Think I Am!? (Good End) (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-ENDING 6: Coo This, I'm Outta Here! (Lame End) (unlocked by kjorteo)

ACHIEVEMENTS UNLOCKED: 14/14 (UPDATE: 100% Complete!!)
-Say Your Prayers - Unlock the Normal Ending (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-Komodo Dragonslayer - Unlock the Bad Ending (unlocked by davidn)
-Gigaflare - Unlock the WTF Ending (unlocked by davidn)
-Coo coooo!! - Unlock the Pudding Ending (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-Hatodammerung - Unlock the Good Ending (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-I Quit! - Unlock the Lame Ending (unlocked by kjorteo)
-Out of Body Experience - Leave yourself behind. (unlocked by kjorteo)
-Lighten the Load - You probably didn't need that stuff anyway. (unlocked by kjorteo)
-Multi-Killed!! - Die 10+ times (Communal achievement ultimately unlocked by kjorteo)
-That is No True Pudding! - Discover the label mixup in your inventory. (unlocked by davidn)
-It's Millet Time - Mmm, tasty! (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-I Feel Pretty, Oh So Pretty - Give yourself a makeover! (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-Can I Keep Him? - Aww, I guess not. (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-The Obligatory "Get All Other Achievements" Achievement (Hatogate 100% Complete!)

Comments

[premchaia_pre4]

No techniques? Curses! (Keep in mind I'm not entirely familiar with what the original Shadowgate had…) Um… >PAGE UP. Surely nothing can go wrong.

[xaq.livejournal.com]

With a flourish, you charge into combat with the Black Serpent of Agony. You thrust the Holy Spear into the beast's eye, flooding its demonic body with Sae'krom's holy light. It rears back from the pain, exposing its underbelly...there, you see its weak point!

Your final blow strikes true, piercing up into the creature's black heart!

...At which point its deceased body, somewhat larger and significantly heavier than your own, collapses on top of you. By the time your classmates are able to pull it off of you, your epic battle has concluded in a draw. Your heroism this day shall not be forgotten, but alas...it's a sad thing your adventure has ended here.

(Reloading from last save... ... ...)

(ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: KOMODO DRAGONSLAYER)

[xaq.livejournal.com]

(Well, that was certainly anticlimactic...)

[xaq.livejournal.com]

(Oh, word of advice? NEVER say something in a Shadowgate-style game can't go wrong, because nothing could ever be further from the truth!)

[premchaia_pre4]

All right, so unless this is an entirely different set of GOODS, I don't have anything else to use here… let's see. >USE UNICYCLE ON STONE IN FRONT OF SERPENT.

[premchaia_pre4]

Now that at least I am familiar with!

[xaq.livejournal.com]

**PARSER INTERPRETING CONTROLLER INPUT IN TEXT FORMAT AS "USE UNICYCLE ON SAE'KROM"** (These games all involved an on-screen cursor rather than text input. Besides, there's no stone in front of the Komodo dragon that I can see. o_O)

You spend several minutes trying in vain to find a means by which the two items could combine, before finally giving up. Your dreams of this hodgepodge collection of items forming a gestalt mecha lie dashed before you. Curses!


(Well, that was...interesting...)

[premchaia_pre4]

I know about the on-screen cursor part, yes. That's why I figured I could aim at the Grey Expanse in front of the Black Serpent in the first place! However, if that can't be tried again, then maybe just >USE GREAT WHEEL OF KARMA ON BLACK SERPENT OF AGONY?

[davidn]

Arse. Perhaps I need to beef myself up first. Use pudding mix on self!

[xaq.livejournal.com]

**PARSER INTERPRETING COMMAND AS "USE UNICYCLE ON KOMODO DRAGON"**

For reasons nobody but you can fathom, you hurl the unicycle with all your might towards the lizard...which, given your comparative size, falls about a foot short.

The komodo dragon looks over at the unicycle, its eyes widening. A moment later, an elated grin spreads across its face. "My unicycle! I've been looking all over for that! Wherever did you find it? Oh, thank you so much!"

With that, it hops up on the unicycle and pedals off into the woods. ...It raises a good question, though; where DID your classmates get that unicycle from? Oh well, the creature is gone now, so that's that sorted! The path is now safe and clear for you to continue.


(W...what?!)

[xaq.livejournal.com]

No sense trying to deal with this creature on an empty stomach! You open the container marked "Part A" and set it down on the ground, then pour in the contents of the packet marked "Part B." Once those are in, you grab the strange looking stirring stick that came with them and stir them together...this is a bit stranger than any other pudding mix you've ever--

Wait, what was that click?



Well well. Apparently someone got their packing labels mixed up, and accidentally put a label for Tat-P brand pudding onto a packet of TATP. The high explosive you just whipped together works beautifully, as the detonator you stirred it with goes off and detonates the entire mixture right in front of your face.

To your credit, the komodo dragon is now gone! ...Of course, the same can be said of you, your classmates, and a better part of the shrine as well.



(Reloading from previous save... ... ...)

(ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: THAT IS NO TRUE PUDDING!)

(Congrats, man! 2 achievements AND one of the endings unlocked so far! Also, I erred in my previous reply; using Sae'krom on the Komodo Dragon actually unlocked an ending rather than simply killing you. Group's death count is currently 8, not 9.)

[premchaia_pre4]

>SAVE. MOVE TO TEMPLE OF ETERNITY. (I am tempted to do some other things first, and it may or may not turn out that I should have, but…)

(Do you actually have the “correct” routes planned behind the scenes, by the way, or are these completely improvisational?)

[xaq.livejournal.com]

**PARSER NOT BOTHERING TO DESCRIBE HOW IT TRANSLATES YOUR INPUTS ANYMORE...**

(File saved.)

With the lizard out of the way, you and your classmates proceed to the shrine. You write your wishes on the placards provided by the shrine staff, hang them up, ring the bell, and clap your wings together for a moment of prayer.

Mission accomplished, you all head downtown to a nearby restaurant to grab a bite to eat!

(Game Over)

(ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: SAY YOUR PRAYERS)


(Congrats, you've unlocked another of the game's endings! ...And to answer your question, I spent a few minutes last night parsing out the details for pretty much everything you could do in the game.)

[davidn]

Well, I'd say I was quite proud of that achievement if I hadn't been vaporized! I see this game definitely follows the Macventure traditions of how specifically you have to behave around the OPEN command.

I am... intrigued by the notion that you thought of everything it was possible to do ;) Let's keep on testing that! Use... paintbrush on millet!

[xaq.livejournal.com]

You pop open the packet of millet seeds and stick the paintbrush into it, stirring it around vigorously to give them all a good, even coat. They now look tastier than ever! Satisfied with your work, you remove the paintbrush and reseal the package so as to seal in that fresh-paint smell for later.

With the last of the paint from the brush used up, you see no further use for it and toss it into a nearby trash can. Just because it's a holiday is no reason for littering!

(Paintbrush removed from inventory)

[davidn]

Hmm. Well, I don't think I'd planned the rest of this line of attack through. Use... freshly painted millet on self!

(By the way, if after all this you're interested in turning this into an actual Flash minigame, by god I'd do it.)

[xaq.livejournal.com]

(Just for future reference, "Use Millet on Self" and "Peck Millet" will have exactly the same effect. As for your offer of making this into a flash game, HELL YES!!)

Feeling a bit hungry, you pop the packet of freshly-painted millet open once more. You lean your head back and dump the contents of the packet into your beak, munching happily.

Unfortunately, the still-not-dried paint coating causes about half of the seeds to stick in your throat, blocking off your airway. The half that make it to your stomach proceed to give you a nasty case of lead poisoning, proving your suspicion of it not being a lead-based paint dead wrong.

Between the two issues, your last meal does quite a handy job of finishing you off. Serves you right for using paint as a condiment in the first place!

It's a sad thing that your adventure has ended here!!

(Reloading from previous save... ... ...)

[davidn]

I will see what I can do once this exercise is over :)

Right, now that that paint test's done... do the same thing, except use it on the komodo dragon!

[xaq.livejournal.com]

(repeat Use Paint on Millet scene)

You pop open the packet of millet seeds and toss them over in the lizard's general direction. Hope you weren't planning on having that for lunch later.

A few of the seeds spray the creature's face, inducing a snarl of discontent. Beyond that, however, it appears to be completely ignoring them and, to a much more relieving extent, you.

(Millet removed from inventory)


(Wow, even coated in paint they didn't do anything. Congrats on making it 2 actions in a row without getting yourself killed, however!)

[kjorteo]

I'm on a roll!

So, uh, are these results the same for everyone's files? Because I kind of had a "oh, now I'm curious what kinds of stuff everyone else is trying" thought before I realized the ramifications and thought that all the way through, and, um, maaaybe spoiled how to get the komodo dragon to move. ^>.>^; This was why I spoiler-tagged my answer until you said I didn't have to! ^O.O^;

Anyway, if the whole thing is already set in stone and the same for everyone, then yeah, do that to get the komodo dragon out of the way, and then move to Spring. I'll be good from now on. D:

But just for the "I know this is going to end horribly but just because I'm curious what happens" factor, maybe save first, etc., then use Sakero'm on Anghel.

[xaq.livejournal.com]

(As I explained to DF, I'm treating everyone's reply string as a separate file. The only things I'm keeping track of that affect everyone are the achievements. Also, Anghel's not on screen or in the menu, so he's not a valid target. The only things you can use anything in your inventory on are other items, yourself, and the Komodo dragon. Now, with that out of the way...)

(Repeat "Use Unicycle on Komodo Dragon" scene)

Your classmates chirp loudly at you, wondering where in the world you're heading off to. The whole point of this trip was to go to the shrine, wasn't it? Their protests slowly fade away as you make your way behind the building and arrive at the hot springs.



The soothing scent of the steaming spring waters look quite inviting! You abandon all sense of caution and, charging past a sign mentioning something about the spring being closed, leap into the water. Cannonball!!

It's about half a second before impact that you remember that you can't swim, and about half a second after impact that you realize that the water's a lot hotter than you thought. Apparently the sign you ran past was warning against going into the water due to geothermal abnormalities leaving the waters dangerously hot.

By the time anyone finds you, you're a few steps beyond "well done." Such a waste.

It's sad that your adventure has ended here!!

(Reloading from previous save... ... ...)

(ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: MULTI-KILLED!! Congratulations!)

[kjorteo]

Well, I knew that, I just meant are the actions/scenes themselves the same, like you planned this all out already, rather than making up individualized responses as you go. I saw how xviith_et_seq got rid of the komodo dragon, so if I do the same thing, would the same thing happen, basically. And it did, so now I know. :D (And now I know not to look at anyone else's thread, because I just accidentally spoiled the solution to the komodo dragon puzzle, clearly D: so let's try not to do that again!)

Anyway, move Woods, then. ^>.>^;

[xaq.livejournal.com]

**PARSER SHOWING UNNATURAL AMOUNTS OF MERCY BY ASSUMING YOU WANTED TO MOVE THE KOMODO DRAGON OUT OF THE WAY FIRST**

Your classmates chirp loudly at you, wondering where in the world you're heading off to. The whole point of this trip was to go to the shrine, wasn't it? Their protests slowly fade away as you make your way down the path and into the forest, following the trail left by the lizard's unicycle.



You follow the mono-wheeled trail for almost half an hour, but eventually you lose track of where the komodo dragon rode off to. Given how much of a menace it was being out in the shrine, this is probably for the best...it was in a pleasant mood after getting its ride back, but who knows how long that would have lasted?

Giving up your pursuit, you turn around and, tracing the same muddy tire track in reverse, work your way back to where your classmates await, still wanting to know where you wandered off to. Well, you got some exercise out of it, at least!

(You're back at the shrine grounds. The unicycle and Sae'krom have long since been removed from your inventory.)


UPDATE: This in an oversight I just realized should occurred in xviith's playthrough the first time. Consider this retroactively added to the "Use Unicycle on Komodo Dragon" scene:

With the Black Serpent of Agony gone, the luzon walks up to you and kneels. "I apologize for my foolishness earlier...I had forgotten that it was the way of the Knights of the Sephirot to resolve their disputes peacefully. Sae'krom's power was not needed here today, after all. Please forgive my transgression. I shall return the Holy Spear to its resting place at once!"

You hand the mapping pen back to the Filipino bird, who darts off into the distance. Well, that was...interesting, I guess?

(Sae'krom has been removed from your inventory.)

[kjorteo]

Maaan, my "there must be more stuff to interact with in another room" senses are batting .000 today. :P

Move Shrine, then!

[ravenworks.livejournal.com]

Feathers!

Use wet paintbrush on spilled pudding mix