Shall we play a game?

[xaq_the_aereon]

Alright everybirdie, the results from the earlier post are in, and now it's time to reveal what I was gearing towards: a game.




(UPDATE: As of 5:20 PM local time, 01/09/2013, all achievements have been unlocked!!)

(Enable BGM?)
It is New Year's Day, and to celebrate, you have joined some of your classmates from St. Pigeonation's to go down to the local shrine. As you get there, you notice the place is strangely empty, even compared to its usual sparsity of visitors. As you get further in, however, you see why: a Komodo Dragon has apparently decided to sunbathe in the middle of the shrine grounds and scared everybirdie off!

"The Black Serpent of Agony has appeared!" The startled, slightly agonized cry of the luzon who stands beside your group startles you...where'd he come from, anyway? Before you can ask, he tosses you a pen used in drawing manga. "Go forth, Scarlet Knight of the Sephirot! It is your destiny to wield Sae'krom, the holy spear, and slay this beast!"

Looks like you've picked up a weird one, my friend. Rummaging through your backpacks, you and your classmates scrounge together a few items you can use to deal with the situation. Things do not look very promising, however, as all that you have are a packet of Tat-P pudding mix, a unicycle, a paintbrush that (for some reason) is still wet with purple paint, a packet of millet seeds, the key to your locker, a unicycle, and the loony luzon's pen.



To play, reply with what you wish to do, such as "Use Unicycle on Self" or "Coo at Sae'krom." Grammar doesn't have to be perfect; as long as the system can make sense of what you say, that should work.
(UPDATE: Due to xviith_et_seq's excessive and increasingly confusing use of them to the point of literally leaving me with a migraine, ANGHELISMS WILL NO LONGER BE ACKNOWLEDGED. Your text entry is simulating a controller input for God's sake.)
If you wish to use the Move command, simply say "Move to ____" using the following list as reference:
-Shrine to move to the center dot on the mini-map
-Entrance to move along the lower-left path
-Woods to move along the central-right path
-Spring to move along the upper-left path behind the shrine.
So, for example, if you wanted to return to the entrance, you would type in "Move to Entrance."

After you have entered a command, the system will reply letting you know the consequences, for good or ill (most likely ill) of your actions. Afterwards, assuming you didn't get yourself horribly maimed or killed, you can input another command and try again.

Good luck, and try your best to survive this latest peril to come to Littledove Hachiman City!

UPDATE: There is no need spoiler-tag your replies; I only spoiler-tagged the game so that it didn't take up a boatload of space on your page on the off-chance you didn't want to play.

UPDATE: Okay, since this has come up a number of times now: While other characters get mentioned in the text a few times, the only 2 characters you're able to interact with in any way on the first screen are yourself and the Komodo dragon.


ENDINGS UNLOCKED: 6/6
-ENDING 1: Say Your Prayers (Normal End) (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-ENDING 2: Tale of the Dragonslayer (Bad End) (unlocked by davidn)
-ENDING 3: There Goes The Neighborhood! (WTF End) (unlocked by davidn)
-ENDING 4: True Pudding Awaits! (Pudding End) (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-ENDING 5: Coo The Hell Do You Think I Am!? (Good End) (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-ENDING 6: Coo This, I'm Outta Here! (Lame End) (unlocked by kjorteo)

ACHIEVEMENTS UNLOCKED: 14/14 (UPDATE: 100% Complete!!)
-Say Your Prayers - Unlock the Normal Ending (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-Komodo Dragonslayer - Unlock the Bad Ending (unlocked by davidn)
-Gigaflare - Unlock the WTF Ending (unlocked by davidn)
-Coo coooo!! - Unlock the Pudding Ending (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-Hatodammerung - Unlock the Good Ending (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-I Quit! - Unlock the Lame Ending (unlocked by kjorteo)
-Out of Body Experience - Leave yourself behind. (unlocked by kjorteo)
-Lighten the Load - You probably didn't need that stuff anyway. (unlocked by kjorteo)
-Multi-Killed!! - Die 10+ times (Communal achievement ultimately unlocked by kjorteo)
-That is No True Pudding! - Discover the label mixup in your inventory. (unlocked by davidn)
-It's Millet Time - Mmm, tasty! (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-I Feel Pretty, Oh So Pretty - Give yourself a makeover! (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-Can I Keep Him? - Aww, I guess not. (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-The Obligatory "Get All Other Achievements" Achievement (Hatogate 100% Complete!)

Comments

[kjorteo]

Move to Entrance

[xaq.livejournal.com]

The wacky luzon bars your path. "Destiny cannot be averted, Holy Warrior! The Black Serpent must be dealt with so that the Temple of Eternity may cast its glow on the world once more!"

Crazy as he sounds, he's right...you and your friends came here to make your New Year's wishes, and it's going to take more than some stupid lizard to stop you!!

(Oh, BTW, you don't have to spoiler-tag your replies; I just spoiler-tagged the game so it wouldn't take up a bunch of space on everyone's friend page.)

[kjorteo]

Hmm ... in that case....

Coo at komodo dragon

[xaq.livejournal.com]

The ear-scouring cacophony that fills the air is apparently less than appealing to the lizard. It critiques your rendition of the latest ACooB42 hit by biting your throat. Perhaps skipping music class every day wasn't such a good idea after all.

The venom from the creature's fangs quickly courses its way through your body, causing severe swelling in your diaphragm and rendering it impossible for you to breathe. Your classmates call for an ambulance, but by the time it arrives, the damage has been done.

It's a sad thing that your adventure has ended here!!

(Reloading from previous save... ... ...)

[kjorteo]

Whoops. So much for my "maybe the game's just trying to trick me to pick an unwinnable fight with something that isn't even hostile unless I strike first, maybe I should try to talk this out instead" theory, then. And an impressively quick sudden out-of-nowhere death, too, but then again, this is Hatogate.

PLAN B IT IS THEN

Move to Spring

[xaq.livejournal.com]

Your attempt to sneak past the lizard fails, as it quickly whips around and clamps its teeth into your wing! It tosses you aside like a rag doll.

The venom from the creature's fangs quickly courses its way through your body, causing severe swelling in your diaphragm and rendering it impossible for you to breathe. Your classmates call for an ambulance, but by the time it arrives, the damage has been done.

It's a sad thing that your adventure has ended here!!

(Reloading from previous save... ... ...)


(PERSONAL NOTE: Going by the "Plan B, Plan C, etc." listing, I hope you've got something up to at least Plan Q.)

[kjorteo]

... My "I probably don't have what I need to win this battle on my person or lying around in this room, I should look around for more gear" idea worked about as well as my "let's just talk my way out of this" one did, I see.

Oh, wait, the spring was the one directly behind the komodo dragon, wasn't it? Oops.

Okay, move to woods, and if that doesn't work and he's not going to let me pass anywhere, then use unicycle on self.

[ravenworks.livejournal.com]

Open pudding mix

[xaq.livejournal.com]

(To save time, I'm just going to point out that moving to the woods has the exact same result as trying to move to the spring did. It's a sad thing etc. etc.!!)

(Reloading from previous save... ... ...)

You set the unicycle on the ground, then hop up on top of it as quick as you can. You manage to unsteadily balance it for a few seconds, and even get it rolling forward a few inches, before your total lack of experience with riding one of these contraptions catches up with you in full and you go falling over. In a display of remarkably horrid luck, you manage to fall in just the right direction to impale yourself on the mapping pen that luzon gave you!

In a flash, you feel Sae'krom's holy magic flood into you, erasing the sin from your spirit as quickly as it erases the life from your body. At least your passing is a peaceful one.

It's a sad thing that your adventure has ended here!!

(Reloading from previous save... ... ...)

(Wow, 4 in a row! Bravo, man! :b )

[xaq.livejournal.com]

You carefully attempt to open the two containers the pudding mix is kept in. Sadly, feathers aren't able to keep a strong enough grip on such things, and you wind up dropping them both to the ground, spilling the contents everywhere. Blast, there goes what could have been your lunch!

(Pudding Mix removed from inventory)

[davidn]

Text adventures are always better with a human as the parser :)

Use key2 on self!

[xaq.livejournal.com]

(Aren't they, though?)

Good job, you've succeeded in piercing your heart with your locker key. Apparently it was the right key for the job, as it has unlocked your mortal prison and freed your spirit from the confines of this world. Your classmates are going to have fond memories of this day to share in therapy for the next few years!

It's a sad thing that your adventure has ended here!!

(Reloading from previous save... .... ...)

[davidn]

Open... Sae'krom!

[xaq.livejournal.com]

After a few minutes, you manage to find the spot on the pen to twist it open. You peek inside and find nothing besides the ink tube, which is about three-quarters full. Satisfied that the pen is, indeed, a pen, you close it back up and ready it for combat...or, at least, for drawing combat...once more.

(Well, that was interesting, but ultimately accomplished nothing.)

[lupineangel.livejournal.com]

USE PAINTBRUSH on skink KOMODO DRAGON.

We'll blind it with paint, then sneak past it to the Entrance! (or not :P)

D.F.

[xaq.livejournal.com]

You give the komodo dragon a beautiful new coat of royal purple scales, reflecting its majesty most splendidly. It thanks you for your generous gift by clamping its teeth around your head, the force of its jaws crushing your skull like an eggshell underfoot. Aww, how thoughtful of him!

It's a sad thing that your adventure has ended here!!

(Reloading from previous save... ... ...)


(SIDE NOTE: Looks like it was the "or not!" ...Besides, wasn't the idea to get to the Shrine rather than back to the Entrance anyway?)

[lupineangel.livejournal.com]

Ah, tch, yes, sorry; posting while drunk doesn't help. :P

Okay, we clearly don't have the solution to the problem immediately to hand. How about

LOOK at KOMODO DRAGON

Maybe we can discern a weakness! Maybe even without it eating us! :P

D.F.

[xaq.livejournal.com]

The Black Serpent of Agony appears to be more green than black, and more of a lizard than a serpent. It definitely looks like it could cause you plenty of agony, though.

[davidn]

Honestly, doing something that accomplishes nothing instead of ends in instant painful death feels like enough of an achievement in a Shadowgatealike.

Peck... lizard!

[lupineangel.livejournal.com]

Okay, one last shot before I head to bed for the evening:

USE MILLET on KOMODO DRAGON

If he's hungry, let's see if we can encourage him to vary his diet a little. He's already chomped what, six of our incarnations now? :P

D.F.

[xaq.livejournal.com]

You flap over to perch atop the Komodo dragon's head, pecking away furiously at its skull in a valiant effort to cave its skull in. Before you even get through a single scale of its hide, however, it snarls in annoyance and smacks you with its tail. The ferocity of the impact snaps your neck like a twig and drops you to the ground rather unceremoniously. It would appear that poultry is on the menu this afternoon!

It's a sad thing that your adventure has ended here!!

(Reloading from previous save... .... ...)


(So much for your survival streak...)

[xaq.livejournal.com]

You pop open the packet of millet seeds and toss them over in the lizard's general direction. Hope you weren't planning on having that for lunch later.

A few of the seeds spray the creature's face, inducing a snarl of discontent. Beyond that, however, it appears to be completely ignoring them and, to a much more relieving extent, you.

(Millet removed from inventory)


(Side note: I'm treating everyone's playthroughs as separate games, so you still have your pudding mix, and Raven still has his millet.)

[premchaia_pre4]

>PAGE UP

[xaq.livejournal.com]

[davidn]

I suppose "Use Sae'krom on komodo dragon" is too much to hope for?