Shall we play a game?

[xaq_the_aereon]

Alright everybirdie, the results from the earlier post are in, and now it's time to reveal what I was gearing towards: a game.




(UPDATE: As of 5:20 PM local time, 01/09/2013, all achievements have been unlocked!!)

(Enable BGM?)
It is New Year's Day, and to celebrate, you have joined some of your classmates from St. Pigeonation's to go down to the local shrine. As you get there, you notice the place is strangely empty, even compared to its usual sparsity of visitors. As you get further in, however, you see why: a Komodo Dragon has apparently decided to sunbathe in the middle of the shrine grounds and scared everybirdie off!

"The Black Serpent of Agony has appeared!" The startled, slightly agonized cry of the luzon who stands beside your group startles you...where'd he come from, anyway? Before you can ask, he tosses you a pen used in drawing manga. "Go forth, Scarlet Knight of the Sephirot! It is your destiny to wield Sae'krom, the holy spear, and slay this beast!"

Looks like you've picked up a weird one, my friend. Rummaging through your backpacks, you and your classmates scrounge together a few items you can use to deal with the situation. Things do not look very promising, however, as all that you have are a packet of Tat-P pudding mix, a unicycle, a paintbrush that (for some reason) is still wet with purple paint, a packet of millet seeds, the key to your locker, a unicycle, and the loony luzon's pen.



To play, reply with what you wish to do, such as "Use Unicycle on Self" or "Coo at Sae'krom." Grammar doesn't have to be perfect; as long as the system can make sense of what you say, that should work.
(UPDATE: Due to xviith_et_seq's excessive and increasingly confusing use of them to the point of literally leaving me with a migraine, ANGHELISMS WILL NO LONGER BE ACKNOWLEDGED. Your text entry is simulating a controller input for God's sake.)
If you wish to use the Move command, simply say "Move to ____" using the following list as reference:
-Shrine to move to the center dot on the mini-map
-Entrance to move along the lower-left path
-Woods to move along the central-right path
-Spring to move along the upper-left path behind the shrine.
So, for example, if you wanted to return to the entrance, you would type in "Move to Entrance."

After you have entered a command, the system will reply letting you know the consequences, for good or ill (most likely ill) of your actions. Afterwards, assuming you didn't get yourself horribly maimed or killed, you can input another command and try again.

Good luck, and try your best to survive this latest peril to come to Littledove Hachiman City!

UPDATE: There is no need spoiler-tag your replies; I only spoiler-tagged the game so that it didn't take up a boatload of space on your page on the off-chance you didn't want to play.

UPDATE: Okay, since this has come up a number of times now: While other characters get mentioned in the text a few times, the only 2 characters you're able to interact with in any way on the first screen are yourself and the Komodo dragon.


ENDINGS UNLOCKED: 6/6
-ENDING 1: Say Your Prayers (Normal End) (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-ENDING 2: Tale of the Dragonslayer (Bad End) (unlocked by davidn)
-ENDING 3: There Goes The Neighborhood! (WTF End) (unlocked by davidn)
-ENDING 4: True Pudding Awaits! (Pudding End) (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-ENDING 5: Coo The Hell Do You Think I Am!? (Good End) (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-ENDING 6: Coo This, I'm Outta Here! (Lame End) (unlocked by kjorteo)

ACHIEVEMENTS UNLOCKED: 14/14 (UPDATE: 100% Complete!!)
-Say Your Prayers - Unlock the Normal Ending (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-Komodo Dragonslayer - Unlock the Bad Ending (unlocked by davidn)
-Gigaflare - Unlock the WTF Ending (unlocked by davidn)
-Coo coooo!! - Unlock the Pudding Ending (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-Hatodammerung - Unlock the Good Ending (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-I Quit! - Unlock the Lame Ending (unlocked by kjorteo)
-Out of Body Experience - Leave yourself behind. (unlocked by kjorteo)
-Lighten the Load - You probably didn't need that stuff anyway. (unlocked by kjorteo)
-Multi-Killed!! - Die 10+ times (Communal achievement ultimately unlocked by kjorteo)
-That is No True Pudding! - Discover the label mixup in your inventory. (unlocked by davidn)
-It's Millet Time - Mmm, tasty! (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-I Feel Pretty, Oh So Pretty - Give yourself a makeover! (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-Can I Keep Him? - Aww, I guess not. (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-The Obligatory "Get All Other Achievements" Achievement (Hatogate 100% Complete!)

Comments

[kjorteo]

Whoops. So much for my "maybe the game's just trying to trick me to pick an unwinnable fight with something that isn't even hostile unless I strike first, maybe I should try to talk this out instead" theory, then. And an impressively quick sudden out-of-nowhere death, too, but then again, this is Hatogate.

PLAN B IT IS THEN

Move to Spring

[xaq.livejournal.com]

Your attempt to sneak past the lizard fails, as it quickly whips around and clamps its teeth into your wing! It tosses you aside like a rag doll.

The venom from the creature's fangs quickly courses its way through your body, causing severe swelling in your diaphragm and rendering it impossible for you to breathe. Your classmates call for an ambulance, but by the time it arrives, the damage has been done.

It's a sad thing that your adventure has ended here!!

(Reloading from previous save... ... ...)


(PERSONAL NOTE: Going by the "Plan B, Plan C, etc." listing, I hope you've got something up to at least Plan Q.)

[kjorteo]

... My "I probably don't have what I need to win this battle on my person or lying around in this room, I should look around for more gear" idea worked about as well as my "let's just talk my way out of this" one did, I see.

Oh, wait, the spring was the one directly behind the komodo dragon, wasn't it? Oops.

Okay, move to woods, and if that doesn't work and he's not going to let me pass anywhere, then use unicycle on self.

[xaq.livejournal.com]

(To save time, I'm just going to point out that moving to the woods has the exact same result as trying to move to the spring did. It's a sad thing etc. etc.!!)

(Reloading from previous save... ... ...)

You set the unicycle on the ground, then hop up on top of it as quick as you can. You manage to unsteadily balance it for a few seconds, and even get it rolling forward a few inches, before your total lack of experience with riding one of these contraptions catches up with you in full and you go falling over. In a display of remarkably horrid luck, you manage to fall in just the right direction to impale yourself on the mapping pen that luzon gave you!

In a flash, you feel Sae'krom's holy magic flood into you, erasing the sin from your spirit as quickly as it erases the life from your body. At least your passing is a peaceful one.

It's a sad thing that your adventure has ended here!!

(Reloading from previous save... ... ...)

(Wow, 4 in a row! Bravo, man! :b )

[kjorteo]

I'm on a roll!

So, uh, are these results the same for everyone's files? Because I kind of had a "oh, now I'm curious what kinds of stuff everyone else is trying" thought before I realized the ramifications and thought that all the way through, and, um, maaaybe spoiled how to get the komodo dragon to move. ^>.>^; This was why I spoiler-tagged my answer until you said I didn't have to! ^O.O^;

Anyway, if the whole thing is already set in stone and the same for everyone, then yeah, do that to get the komodo dragon out of the way, and then move to Spring. I'll be good from now on. D:

But just for the "I know this is going to end horribly but just because I'm curious what happens" factor, maybe save first, etc., then use Sakero'm on Anghel.

[xaq.livejournal.com]

(As I explained to DF, I'm treating everyone's reply string as a separate file. The only things I'm keeping track of that affect everyone are the achievements. Also, Anghel's not on screen or in the menu, so he's not a valid target. The only things you can use anything in your inventory on are other items, yourself, and the Komodo dragon. Now, with that out of the way...)

(Repeat "Use Unicycle on Komodo Dragon" scene)

Your classmates chirp loudly at you, wondering where in the world you're heading off to. The whole point of this trip was to go to the shrine, wasn't it? Their protests slowly fade away as you make your way behind the building and arrive at the hot springs.



The soothing scent of the steaming spring waters look quite inviting! You abandon all sense of caution and, charging past a sign mentioning something about the spring being closed, leap into the water. Cannonball!!

It's about half a second before impact that you remember that you can't swim, and about half a second after impact that you realize that the water's a lot hotter than you thought. Apparently the sign you ran past was warning against going into the water due to geothermal abnormalities leaving the waters dangerously hot.

By the time anyone finds you, you're a few steps beyond "well done." Such a waste.

It's sad that your adventure has ended here!!

(Reloading from previous save... ... ...)

(ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: MULTI-KILLED!! Congratulations!)

[kjorteo]

Well, I knew that, I just meant are the actions/scenes themselves the same, like you planned this all out already, rather than making up individualized responses as you go. I saw how xviith_et_seq got rid of the komodo dragon, so if I do the same thing, would the same thing happen, basically. And it did, so now I know. :D (And now I know not to look at anyone else's thread, because I just accidentally spoiled the solution to the komodo dragon puzzle, clearly D: so let's try not to do that again!)

Anyway, move Woods, then. ^>.>^;

[xaq.livejournal.com]

**PARSER SHOWING UNNATURAL AMOUNTS OF MERCY BY ASSUMING YOU WANTED TO MOVE THE KOMODO DRAGON OUT OF THE WAY FIRST**

Your classmates chirp loudly at you, wondering where in the world you're heading off to. The whole point of this trip was to go to the shrine, wasn't it? Their protests slowly fade away as you make your way down the path and into the forest, following the trail left by the lizard's unicycle.



You follow the mono-wheeled trail for almost half an hour, but eventually you lose track of where the komodo dragon rode off to. Given how much of a menace it was being out in the shrine, this is probably for the best...it was in a pleasant mood after getting its ride back, but who knows how long that would have lasted?

Giving up your pursuit, you turn around and, tracing the same muddy tire track in reverse, work your way back to where your classmates await, still wanting to know where you wandered off to. Well, you got some exercise out of it, at least!

(You're back at the shrine grounds. The unicycle and Sae'krom have long since been removed from your inventory.)


UPDATE: This in an oversight I just realized should occurred in xviith's playthrough the first time. Consider this retroactively added to the "Use Unicycle on Komodo Dragon" scene:

With the Black Serpent of Agony gone, the luzon walks up to you and kneels. "I apologize for my foolishness earlier...I had forgotten that it was the way of the Knights of the Sephirot to resolve their disputes peacefully. Sae'krom's power was not needed here today, after all. Please forgive my transgression. I shall return the Holy Spear to its resting place at once!"

You hand the mapping pen back to the Filipino bird, who darts off into the distance. Well, that was...interesting, I guess?

(Sae'krom has been removed from your inventory.)

[kjorteo]

Maaan, my "there must be more stuff to interact with in another room" senses are batting .000 today. :P

Move Shrine, then!

[xaq.livejournal.com]

With the lizard out of the way, you and your classmates proceed to the shrine. You write your wishes on the placards provided by the shrine staff, hang them up, ring the bell, and clap your wings together for a moment of prayer.

Mission accomplished, you all head downtown to a nearby restaurant to grab a bite to eat!

(Game Over - Normal Ending)



(Awww, and you were on your way to one of the other endings, too! D: )

[kjorteo]

Hmm ... all right a couple things I want to try, then. They may be mutually exclusive, I don't know. Assume I'm starting over between the two if they are. :P

1) New game, use paintbrush on unicycle, then use unicycle on komodo dragon.

2) New game, give the unicycle back and get the komodo dragon out of the way, move woods, and then move woods again.

[xaq.livejournal.com]

(engaging shorthand mode due to the first already being done)


1) No new result. (Paintbrush, unicycle, and Sae'krom have been removed from your inventory.)

2) (2nd trip to woods goes the same as the 1st. Disengaging shorthand mode.)

Before you can decide what to do next, you see a fantail dove run into the shrine grounds. His attention seems focused squarely on your packet of pudding mix!



(SIDE NOTE: Once again, fully aware that the lizard's still in the background even though he shouldn't be. Images are still in beta.)

"Cooooo coo cooo! (Okosan senses pudding in this location!)" The fantail gives you no chance to defend yourself as he smashes against you in a flying headbutt, knocking the pudding mix out of your backpack! As you get up, you see him run off into towards the horizon, at speeds you haven't seen since the last sci-fi marathon!

As you get up and dust yourself off, you hear a deafening blast off in the distance..



Well, looks like he was wrong...apparently that wasn't pudding after all. A moment later, the same fantail comes racing back to you, looking slightly singed.

"Coooooooo! (Okosan has been lied to! Deceived! That was no pudding!)"

Without warning, he strikes you with his wing. Geez, what did you do to deserve that!?

"Cooo coo coooooo cooooo! (It seems Okosan will have to continue his quest once more. The true pudding will be his one day! It will!)" And with that, he's off.

After taking a moment to regain your senses and work out what the blazes just happened, you realize that everybody else in the area, including your classmates, has long since left...apparently that was too much weirdness for anyone but you to handle. You shrug, make your way over to the shrine, leave your wish, ring the bell, and head home. Still, you can't shake off the feeling that you're missing something...oh well.


(Game Over - Pudding End)

[kjorteo]

Hmm ... all right, new game, use paintbrush on self.

[xaq.livejournal.com]

You take a moment to look yourself over, and decide that the current color of your plumage could use a little work. With that in mind, you spend a few minutes touching your feathers up with the paintbrush. In no time at all, you've turned yourself into a rather regal shade of purple!

It looks like you could improve on things a little more, though...

(Paintbrush removed from inventory)

[kjorteo]

Oh! On to something, are we? Let's see ... use millet on self?

[xaq.livejournal.com]

No sense trying to deal with this situation on an empty stomach! You pop open your packet of millet and dig into it, enjoying every last scrumptious and nutritious bite. Yum!

(Millet removed from inventory)


(UNOFFICIAL ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: Confines of journal template broken! ...Again. This is, what, twice you've done this now? :b)

[kjorteo]

Well that's not quite what I meant to do, but ... okay!

Um ... use Saekro'm on self?

[xaq.livejournal.com]

Uncertain of whether the mapping pen would be able to wound that Komodo dragon, you test it out by trying to poke yourself in the chest with it. The ease with which it pierces your heart comes as quite a shock, in a multitude of ways.

In a flash, you feel Sae'krom's holy magic flood into you, erasing the sin from your spirit as quickly as it erases the life from your body. At least your passing is a peaceful one.

It's a sad thing that your adventure has ended here!!

(Reloading from previous save... ... ...)


**PARSER REQUESTING A NEW REPLY THREAD.**