Shall we play a game?

[xaq_the_aereon]

Alright everybirdie, the results from the earlier post are in, and now it's time to reveal what I was gearing towards: a game.




(UPDATE: As of 5:20 PM local time, 01/09/2013, all achievements have been unlocked!!)

(Enable BGM?)
It is New Year's Day, and to celebrate, you have joined some of your classmates from St. Pigeonation's to go down to the local shrine. As you get there, you notice the place is strangely empty, even compared to its usual sparsity of visitors. As you get further in, however, you see why: a Komodo Dragon has apparently decided to sunbathe in the middle of the shrine grounds and scared everybirdie off!

"The Black Serpent of Agony has appeared!" The startled, slightly agonized cry of the luzon who stands beside your group startles you...where'd he come from, anyway? Before you can ask, he tosses you a pen used in drawing manga. "Go forth, Scarlet Knight of the Sephirot! It is your destiny to wield Sae'krom, the holy spear, and slay this beast!"

Looks like you've picked up a weird one, my friend. Rummaging through your backpacks, you and your classmates scrounge together a few items you can use to deal with the situation. Things do not look very promising, however, as all that you have are a packet of Tat-P pudding mix, a unicycle, a paintbrush that (for some reason) is still wet with purple paint, a packet of millet seeds, the key to your locker, a unicycle, and the loony luzon's pen.



To play, reply with what you wish to do, such as "Use Unicycle on Self" or "Coo at Sae'krom." Grammar doesn't have to be perfect; as long as the system can make sense of what you say, that should work.
(UPDATE: Due to xviith_et_seq's excessive and increasingly confusing use of them to the point of literally leaving me with a migraine, ANGHELISMS WILL NO LONGER BE ACKNOWLEDGED. Your text entry is simulating a controller input for God's sake.)
If you wish to use the Move command, simply say "Move to ____" using the following list as reference:
-Shrine to move to the center dot on the mini-map
-Entrance to move along the lower-left path
-Woods to move along the central-right path
-Spring to move along the upper-left path behind the shrine.
So, for example, if you wanted to return to the entrance, you would type in "Move to Entrance."

After you have entered a command, the system will reply letting you know the consequences, for good or ill (most likely ill) of your actions. Afterwards, assuming you didn't get yourself horribly maimed or killed, you can input another command and try again.

Good luck, and try your best to survive this latest peril to come to Littledove Hachiman City!

UPDATE: There is no need spoiler-tag your replies; I only spoiler-tagged the game so that it didn't take up a boatload of space on your page on the off-chance you didn't want to play.

UPDATE: Okay, since this has come up a number of times now: While other characters get mentioned in the text a few times, the only 2 characters you're able to interact with in any way on the first screen are yourself and the Komodo dragon.


ENDINGS UNLOCKED: 6/6
-ENDING 1: Say Your Prayers (Normal End) (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-ENDING 2: Tale of the Dragonslayer (Bad End) (unlocked by davidn)
-ENDING 3: There Goes The Neighborhood! (WTF End) (unlocked by davidn)
-ENDING 4: True Pudding Awaits! (Pudding End) (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-ENDING 5: Coo The Hell Do You Think I Am!? (Good End) (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-ENDING 6: Coo This, I'm Outta Here! (Lame End) (unlocked by kjorteo)

ACHIEVEMENTS UNLOCKED: 14/14 (UPDATE: 100% Complete!!)
-Say Your Prayers - Unlock the Normal Ending (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-Komodo Dragonslayer - Unlock the Bad Ending (unlocked by davidn)
-Gigaflare - Unlock the WTF Ending (unlocked by davidn)
-Coo coooo!! - Unlock the Pudding Ending (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-Hatodammerung - Unlock the Good Ending (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-I Quit! - Unlock the Lame Ending (unlocked by kjorteo)
-Out of Body Experience - Leave yourself behind. (unlocked by kjorteo)
-Lighten the Load - You probably didn't need that stuff anyway. (unlocked by kjorteo)
-Multi-Killed!! - Die 10+ times (Communal achievement ultimately unlocked by kjorteo)
-That is No True Pudding! - Discover the label mixup in your inventory. (unlocked by davidn)
-It's Millet Time - Mmm, tasty! (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-I Feel Pretty, Oh So Pretty - Give yourself a makeover! (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-Can I Keep Him? - Aww, I guess not. (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-The Obligatory "Get All Other Achievements" Achievement (Hatogate 100% Complete!)

Comments

[davidn]

Arse. Perhaps I need to beef myself up first. Use pudding mix on self!

[xaq.livejournal.com]

No sense trying to deal with this creature on an empty stomach! You open the container marked "Part A" and set it down on the ground, then pour in the contents of the packet marked "Part B." Once those are in, you grab the strange looking stirring stick that came with them and stir them together...this is a bit stranger than any other pudding mix you've ever--

Wait, what was that click?



Well well. Apparently someone got their packing labels mixed up, and accidentally put a label for Tat-P brand pudding onto a packet of TATP. The high explosive you just whipped together works beautifully, as the detonator you stirred it with goes off and detonates the entire mixture right in front of your face.

To your credit, the komodo dragon is now gone! ...Of course, the same can be said of you, your classmates, and a better part of the shrine as well.



(Reloading from previous save... ... ...)

(ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: THAT IS NO TRUE PUDDING!)

(Congrats, man! 2 achievements AND one of the endings unlocked so far! Also, I erred in my previous reply; using Sae'krom on the Komodo Dragon actually unlocked an ending rather than simply killing you. Group's death count is currently 8, not 9.)

[davidn]

Well, I'd say I was quite proud of that achievement if I hadn't been vaporized! I see this game definitely follows the Macventure traditions of how specifically you have to behave around the OPEN command.

I am... intrigued by the notion that you thought of everything it was possible to do ;) Let's keep on testing that! Use... paintbrush on millet!

[xaq.livejournal.com]

You pop open the packet of millet seeds and stick the paintbrush into it, stirring it around vigorously to give them all a good, even coat. They now look tastier than ever! Satisfied with your work, you remove the paintbrush and reseal the package so as to seal in that fresh-paint smell for later.

With the last of the paint from the brush used up, you see no further use for it and toss it into a nearby trash can. Just because it's a holiday is no reason for littering!

(Paintbrush removed from inventory)

[davidn]

Hmm. Well, I don't think I'd planned the rest of this line of attack through. Use... freshly painted millet on self!

(By the way, if after all this you're interested in turning this into an actual Flash minigame, by god I'd do it.)

[xaq.livejournal.com]

(Just for future reference, "Use Millet on Self" and "Peck Millet" will have exactly the same effect. As for your offer of making this into a flash game, HELL YES!!)

Feeling a bit hungry, you pop the packet of freshly-painted millet open once more. You lean your head back and dump the contents of the packet into your beak, munching happily.

Unfortunately, the still-not-dried paint coating causes about half of the seeds to stick in your throat, blocking off your airway. The half that make it to your stomach proceed to give you a nasty case of lead poisoning, proving your suspicion of it not being a lead-based paint dead wrong.

Between the two issues, your last meal does quite a handy job of finishing you off. Serves you right for using paint as a condiment in the first place!

It's a sad thing that your adventure has ended here!!

(Reloading from previous save... ... ...)

[davidn]

I will see what I can do once this exercise is over :)

Right, now that that paint test's done... do the same thing, except use it on the komodo dragon!

[xaq.livejournal.com]

(repeat Use Paint on Millet scene)

You pop open the packet of millet seeds and toss them over in the lizard's general direction. Hope you weren't planning on having that for lunch later.

A few of the seeds spray the creature's face, inducing a snarl of discontent. Beyond that, however, it appears to be completely ignoring them and, to a much more relieving extent, you.

(Millet removed from inventory)


(Wow, even coated in paint they didn't do anything. Congrats on making it 2 actions in a row without getting yourself killed, however!)

[davidn]

It is a streak I fear I may not be able to keep up.

Hmm. Has there been any location that nobody has attempted to MOVE to yet? If so, move there! (Sorry to take such flagrant advantage of the non-computer parser, here.)

[xaq.livejournal.com]

**PARSER ANALYZING INPUT... ... ..INTERPRETING AS "Move to Shrine" (which has not been attempted while the lizard is still there.)

Your attempt to sneak past the lizard fails, as it quickly whips around and clamps its teeth into your wing! It tosses you aside like a rag doll.

The venom from the creature's fangs quickly courses its way through your body, causing severe swelling in your diaphragm and rendering it impossible for you to breathe. Your classmates call for an ambulance, but by the time it arrives, the damage has been done.

It's a sad thing that your adventure has ended here!!

(Reloading from previous save... ... ...)

(So much for your survival streak!)

[davidn]

Bugger!

All right - going off on a completely different angle and by the achievement names...

LEAVE PUDDING MIX
LEAVE PAINTBRUSH
LEAVE UNICYCLE
LEAVE SAKER'OM
LEAVE KEY2
LEAVE MILLET

[xaq.livejournal.com]

(I was wondering if anyone was ever going to try that command...)

>Leave Pudding Mix

You hand the pudding mix back to your classmates, fairly convinced it's not going to do any good against this thing.

(Pudding Mix removed from inventory)


>Leave Paintbrush/Unicycle/Millet

(Same as above, but replace "pudding mix" with applicable item name.)

(Paintbrush, unicycle, and millet removed from inventory)

>Leave Key2

Wait, you can't get rid of that! You're going to need that if you want to get into your locker at school!

>Leave Sae'krom

The luzon shakes his head as you try to hand him back his pen. "I cannot fight this beast, Scarlet Knight. My powers are useless against it. Only the combined might of the Holy Spear and the Order of the Sephirot can slay this demonic serpent!"

So, in other words, he's scared of lizards and wants you to deal with it instead? In any case, he's not taking it back, and throwing it away might make his antics even worse...better hold onto it.


**PARSER REQUESTING START OF NEW REPLY STRING; CURRENT REPLY STRING BREAKING BOUNDARIES OF JOURNAL TEMPLATE**

(First Kjorteo, now you! :b )