Shall we play a game?

[xaq_the_aereon]

Alright everybirdie, the results from the earlier post are in, and now it's time to reveal what I was gearing towards: a game.




(UPDATE: As of 5:20 PM local time, 01/09/2013, all achievements have been unlocked!!)

(Enable BGM?)
It is New Year's Day, and to celebrate, you have joined some of your classmates from St. Pigeonation's to go down to the local shrine. As you get there, you notice the place is strangely empty, even compared to its usual sparsity of visitors. As you get further in, however, you see why: a Komodo Dragon has apparently decided to sunbathe in the middle of the shrine grounds and scared everybirdie off!

"The Black Serpent of Agony has appeared!" The startled, slightly agonized cry of the luzon who stands beside your group startles you...where'd he come from, anyway? Before you can ask, he tosses you a pen used in drawing manga. "Go forth, Scarlet Knight of the Sephirot! It is your destiny to wield Sae'krom, the holy spear, and slay this beast!"

Looks like you've picked up a weird one, my friend. Rummaging through your backpacks, you and your classmates scrounge together a few items you can use to deal with the situation. Things do not look very promising, however, as all that you have are a packet of Tat-P pudding mix, a unicycle, a paintbrush that (for some reason) is still wet with purple paint, a packet of millet seeds, the key to your locker, a unicycle, and the loony luzon's pen.



To play, reply with what you wish to do, such as "Use Unicycle on Self" or "Coo at Sae'krom." Grammar doesn't have to be perfect; as long as the system can make sense of what you say, that should work.
(UPDATE: Due to xviith_et_seq's excessive and increasingly confusing use of them to the point of literally leaving me with a migraine, ANGHELISMS WILL NO LONGER BE ACKNOWLEDGED. Your text entry is simulating a controller input for God's sake.)
If you wish to use the Move command, simply say "Move to ____" using the following list as reference:
-Shrine to move to the center dot on the mini-map
-Entrance to move along the lower-left path
-Woods to move along the central-right path
-Spring to move along the upper-left path behind the shrine.
So, for example, if you wanted to return to the entrance, you would type in "Move to Entrance."

After you have entered a command, the system will reply letting you know the consequences, for good or ill (most likely ill) of your actions. Afterwards, assuming you didn't get yourself horribly maimed or killed, you can input another command and try again.

Good luck, and try your best to survive this latest peril to come to Littledove Hachiman City!

UPDATE: There is no need spoiler-tag your replies; I only spoiler-tagged the game so that it didn't take up a boatload of space on your page on the off-chance you didn't want to play.

UPDATE: Okay, since this has come up a number of times now: While other characters get mentioned in the text a few times, the only 2 characters you're able to interact with in any way on the first screen are yourself and the Komodo dragon.


ENDINGS UNLOCKED: 6/6
-ENDING 1: Say Your Prayers (Normal End) (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-ENDING 2: Tale of the Dragonslayer (Bad End) (unlocked by davidn)
-ENDING 3: There Goes The Neighborhood! (WTF End) (unlocked by davidn)
-ENDING 4: True Pudding Awaits! (Pudding End) (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-ENDING 5: Coo The Hell Do You Think I Am!? (Good End) (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-ENDING 6: Coo This, I'm Outta Here! (Lame End) (unlocked by kjorteo)

ACHIEVEMENTS UNLOCKED: 14/14 (UPDATE: 100% Complete!!)
-Say Your Prayers - Unlock the Normal Ending (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-Komodo Dragonslayer - Unlock the Bad Ending (unlocked by davidn)
-Gigaflare - Unlock the WTF Ending (unlocked by davidn)
-Coo coooo!! - Unlock the Pudding Ending (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-Hatodammerung - Unlock the Good Ending (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-I Quit! - Unlock the Lame Ending (unlocked by kjorteo)
-Out of Body Experience - Leave yourself behind. (unlocked by kjorteo)
-Lighten the Load - You probably didn't need that stuff anyway. (unlocked by kjorteo)
-Multi-Killed!! - Die 10+ times (Communal achievement ultimately unlocked by kjorteo)
-That is No True Pudding! - Discover the label mixup in your inventory. (unlocked by davidn)
-It's Millet Time - Mmm, tasty! (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-I Feel Pretty, Oh So Pretty - Give yourself a makeover! (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-Can I Keep Him? - Aww, I guess not. (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-The Obligatory "Get All Other Achievements" Achievement (Hatogate 100% Complete!)

Comments

[xaq.livejournal.com]

>Use Unicycle on Lizard
(Expected result)
>Leave Pudding Mix

With the lizard dealt with, you give the pudding mix back. No need for that anymore!

>Leave Paintbrush
(Expected result)
>Leave Key2
(Doesn't work, as expected)
>Leave Millet

With the lizard dealt with, you give the packet of millet seeds back. No need for that anymore!

(ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: Lighten the Load)
(Congrats, you finally figured it out! :b)

>Leave Self

You sit down and assume a meditative stance, clearing your mind of the weirdness you just experienced. As you do, you find yourself beginning to become one with the universe. The overwhelming sensation proves a bit more than you can handle, and you get jolted back to reality.

Still, that was a neat sensation while it lasted! You wonder if you can reach that state again...

>Leave Self

You once again assume the meditative stance. The feeling of unity with the cosmos starts to return. You will yourself not to be startled by it again, but after a brief moment of celestial oneness you feel it slip again.

Blast it all! You're sure you can hold onto that feeling for real if you just try a little harder. Maybe one more go will do it...

[kjorteo]

Leave self again! Leave self harder!

[xaq.livejournal.com]

Once more, you assume a meditative stance. Once more, you empty your mind of all distractions. And once more, the sensation of joining together with all of creation comes over you.

You feel all thoughts leave your mind as a sense of universal peace washes over you. Thoughts of fear wash away. Thoughts of sadness wash away. Even thoughts of happiness wash away, all replaced with a calmness that completely stills your mind of all activity....which stills your body of all activity a moment later as all of your cardiovascular and respiratory functions cease, separating your last connection to the physical world.

It's a sad thing that your adventure has ended here...I guess?

(Reloading from previous save... ... ...)

(ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: Out of Body Experience)

[kjorteo]

COO-YA!

(I think)

All right, now that those are secured, it looks like I just have another ending to try for. And unlike those two achievements, whose names were enough of a clue to give me ideas on what to try, this one is ... uh ... hmm.

Okay, back to crazy aimless random experimenting mode, I guess!

New game, open pudding mix

[xaq.livejournal.com]

You carefully attempt to open the two containers the pudding mix is kept in. Sadly, feathers aren't able to keep a strong enough grip on such things, and you wind up dropping them both to the ground, spilling the contents everywhere. Blast, there goes what could have been your lunch!

(Pudding Mix removed from inventory)


**PARSER NOTE: Since you guys are so close to the end, I'm gonna help you out here: the final ending involves the pudding mix in some way.**

[kjorteo]

Use paintbrush on spilled pile of pudding mix

[xaq.livejournal.com]

**PARSER ERROR: Pudding Mix not in game memory to interact with.**

[kjorteo]

Whoops. Well, fine, new game and then ... then ... oh, the others figured it out already, I see. Well, fine, I at least unlocked a couple things!

Good game, thanks for doing this. :D

[xaq.livejournal.com]

Glad you enjoyed it!

For now, I'm parsing together the info needed for davidn to make this into a Flash game. Ought to be at least as interesting! :D