![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Hope's Eulogy
9 Jun 2004 22:18I went down to the DMV today to get some permanent plates for my car.
It was there I learned for the first time that my car is lacking one crucial thing: THE TITLE.
So let's just have a looksee here...without the title, I can't get plates. Even if I GOT plates, I can't legally drive without it...and if I'm not mistaken, without the title I have no proof that the car is even MINE, PLUS if someone managed to counterfeit a title for it, I'd more than likely be told by a judge to hand the keys over.
--
You know that little latch on the inside of a door that slides in when you turn the handle and pops back out to keep the door from just being pushed open? Guess what's wrong with the one on the front door to my room? That's right. It's stuck shut. Meaning the door won't latch.
And this on the day before I have a room inspection...as those with any military knowledge might know, an unlocked door on a room inspection is an INSTANT failure. This'll be number 2 for me, and if they don't fix it by next week, it'll be a 3rd one...which means I'll be thrown out of here and charged with misuse of government property. No less than 17 people have already been sent to Captain's Mast over this rule, so don't even THINK about saying I'm exaggerating.
--
Ever have someone tell you that something your doing, which is vitally important to your job, is a complete waste of time and that you'll never get it right? I did just this morning during mando PT. Right in the middle of a set of curl-ups, a 1st Class walks right over to me and starts talking to me...I don't know exactly what he said, but 2 sentences rang clear:
"Those crunches aren't gonna do you any good."
"You're never gonna get off mando."
Amazing how quickly a morning's worth of self-motivation and preparation can be completely DESTROYED by that kind of crap.
--
It seems milady has been grounded again...ever since the one time a few weeks ago I talked with her, I haven't been able to contact her at all. Needless to say this has drained every last ounce of sanity I've had.
--
I've had crappy days before. Each one's felt worse than the last. But today was different. Beforehand I'd always just felt rather down the whole day....today, it felt like my fire, my soul, my very ESSENCE just...died. I had no motivation to do ANYTHING...work out, do my job, go anywhere... I just wanted to run back here, flop on the bed, and just make today go away.
I am just SO sick of this crap...I'm trapped, apparently hated by my coworkers, and completely seperated from the one person who means more to me than the rest of the world put together.
...I know this is going to offend a lot of people, but right now I don't give a shit. I've been wanting to say this for years now, and I'm going to.
God, quit being a jackass and leave me alone.
It was there I learned for the first time that my car is lacking one crucial thing: THE TITLE.
So let's just have a looksee here...without the title, I can't get plates. Even if I GOT plates, I can't legally drive without it...and if I'm not mistaken, without the title I have no proof that the car is even MINE, PLUS if someone managed to counterfeit a title for it, I'd more than likely be told by a judge to hand the keys over.
--
You know that little latch on the inside of a door that slides in when you turn the handle and pops back out to keep the door from just being pushed open? Guess what's wrong with the one on the front door to my room? That's right. It's stuck shut. Meaning the door won't latch.
And this on the day before I have a room inspection...as those with any military knowledge might know, an unlocked door on a room inspection is an INSTANT failure. This'll be number 2 for me, and if they don't fix it by next week, it'll be a 3rd one...which means I'll be thrown out of here and charged with misuse of government property. No less than 17 people have already been sent to Captain's Mast over this rule, so don't even THINK about saying I'm exaggerating.
--
Ever have someone tell you that something your doing, which is vitally important to your job, is a complete waste of time and that you'll never get it right? I did just this morning during mando PT. Right in the middle of a set of curl-ups, a 1st Class walks right over to me and starts talking to me...I don't know exactly what he said, but 2 sentences rang clear:
"Those crunches aren't gonna do you any good."
"You're never gonna get off mando."
Amazing how quickly a morning's worth of self-motivation and preparation can be completely DESTROYED by that kind of crap.
--
It seems milady has been grounded again...ever since the one time a few weeks ago I talked with her, I haven't been able to contact her at all. Needless to say this has drained every last ounce of sanity I've had.
--
I've had crappy days before. Each one's felt worse than the last. But today was different. Beforehand I'd always just felt rather down the whole day....today, it felt like my fire, my soul, my very ESSENCE just...died. I had no motivation to do ANYTHING...work out, do my job, go anywhere... I just wanted to run back here, flop on the bed, and just make today go away.
I am just SO sick of this crap...I'm trapped, apparently hated by my coworkers, and completely seperated from the one person who means more to me than the rest of the world put together.
...I know this is going to offend a lot of people, but right now I don't give a shit. I've been wanting to say this for years now, and I'm going to.
God, quit being a jackass and leave me alone.
