Shall we play a game?

[xaq_the_aereon]

Alright everybirdie, the results from the earlier post are in, and now it's time to reveal what I was gearing towards: a game.




(UPDATE: As of 5:20 PM local time, 01/09/2013, all achievements have been unlocked!!)

(Enable BGM?)
It is New Year's Day, and to celebrate, you have joined some of your classmates from St. Pigeonation's to go down to the local shrine. As you get there, you notice the place is strangely empty, even compared to its usual sparsity of visitors. As you get further in, however, you see why: a Komodo Dragon has apparently decided to sunbathe in the middle of the shrine grounds and scared everybirdie off!

"The Black Serpent of Agony has appeared!" The startled, slightly agonized cry of the luzon who stands beside your group startles you...where'd he come from, anyway? Before you can ask, he tosses you a pen used in drawing manga. "Go forth, Scarlet Knight of the Sephirot! It is your destiny to wield Sae'krom, the holy spear, and slay this beast!"

Looks like you've picked up a weird one, my friend. Rummaging through your backpacks, you and your classmates scrounge together a few items you can use to deal with the situation. Things do not look very promising, however, as all that you have are a packet of Tat-P pudding mix, a unicycle, a paintbrush that (for some reason) is still wet with purple paint, a packet of millet seeds, the key to your locker, a unicycle, and the loony luzon's pen.



To play, reply with what you wish to do, such as "Use Unicycle on Self" or "Coo at Sae'krom." Grammar doesn't have to be perfect; as long as the system can make sense of what you say, that should work.
(UPDATE: Due to xviith_et_seq's excessive and increasingly confusing use of them to the point of literally leaving me with a migraine, ANGHELISMS WILL NO LONGER BE ACKNOWLEDGED. Your text entry is simulating a controller input for God's sake.)
If you wish to use the Move command, simply say "Move to ____" using the following list as reference:
-Shrine to move to the center dot on the mini-map
-Entrance to move along the lower-left path
-Woods to move along the central-right path
-Spring to move along the upper-left path behind the shrine.
So, for example, if you wanted to return to the entrance, you would type in "Move to Entrance."

After you have entered a command, the system will reply letting you know the consequences, for good or ill (most likely ill) of your actions. Afterwards, assuming you didn't get yourself horribly maimed or killed, you can input another command and try again.

Good luck, and try your best to survive this latest peril to come to Littledove Hachiman City!

UPDATE: There is no need spoiler-tag your replies; I only spoiler-tagged the game so that it didn't take up a boatload of space on your page on the off-chance you didn't want to play.

UPDATE: Okay, since this has come up a number of times now: While other characters get mentioned in the text a few times, the only 2 characters you're able to interact with in any way on the first screen are yourself and the Komodo dragon.


ENDINGS UNLOCKED: 6/6
-ENDING 1: Say Your Prayers (Normal End) (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-ENDING 2: Tale of the Dragonslayer (Bad End) (unlocked by davidn)
-ENDING 3: There Goes The Neighborhood! (WTF End) (unlocked by davidn)
-ENDING 4: True Pudding Awaits! (Pudding End) (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-ENDING 5: Coo The Hell Do You Think I Am!? (Good End) (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-ENDING 6: Coo This, I'm Outta Here! (Lame End) (unlocked by kjorteo)

ACHIEVEMENTS UNLOCKED: 14/14 (UPDATE: 100% Complete!!)
-Say Your Prayers - Unlock the Normal Ending (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-Komodo Dragonslayer - Unlock the Bad Ending (unlocked by davidn)
-Gigaflare - Unlock the WTF Ending (unlocked by davidn)
-Coo coooo!! - Unlock the Pudding Ending (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-Hatodammerung - Unlock the Good Ending (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-I Quit! - Unlock the Lame Ending (unlocked by kjorteo)
-Out of Body Experience - Leave yourself behind. (unlocked by kjorteo)
-Lighten the Load - You probably didn't need that stuff anyway. (unlocked by kjorteo)
-Multi-Killed!! - Die 10+ times (Communal achievement ultimately unlocked by kjorteo)
-That is No True Pudding! - Discover the label mixup in your inventory. (unlocked by davidn)
-It's Millet Time - Mmm, tasty! (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-I Feel Pretty, Oh So Pretty - Give yourself a makeover! (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-Can I Keep Him? - Aww, I guess not. (unlocked by xviith_et_seq)
-The Obligatory "Get All Other Achievements" Achievement (Hatogate 100% Complete!)

Comments

[xaq.livejournal.com]

**FATAL PARSER ERROR: THIS...I....WHAT...**

[premchaia_pre4]

Aww. I even made it into a sort of rebus this time since you said you couldn't examine the abbr title text! The bolded letters (thus “bold face”) anagram to “pudding mix”. u.u

% xl restore hatogate.chk && xl console hatogate

>USE PUDDING MIX ON KOMODO DRAGON. c.c

(Who is winged, with the speed of wind? What is his heart's desire? And what would happen if you reduced his heart's desire to only its most essential, exemplar components, represented in a swirl of dust, pure yet diminished, and packaged with typographic glee?)

(Append: Bah—I didn't realize they would actually give you a headache, especially since it was meant to be easier! Sorry. Sometimes one has to spray me with the water bottle, especially when I'm only partially awake. ;.;)

[xaq.livejournal.com]

(Apology accepted; just, please, no more of that...if I wanted a riddle game, I can find plenty of those on my own. XP)

From the scowl across the lizard's face, you get the sneaking suspicion that it might be hungry. Since the pudding mix doesn't look very appetizing to you, you toss it over to him, landing the 2-container package right in front of him. Nice shot!

He looks down at it in a minor bit of confusion, bites the containers a few times, and then simply ignores them. Well, so much for that stuff...even if getting it back seemed safe, touching it at this point would just be gross!

(Pudding mix removed from inventory.)

[premchaia_pre4]

“We oopsed. We're very sad. The xaq went boom. Sowwy. It's a little dusty but we're taking mister pudding mix. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.”

So… crud. Um… >USE MILLET ON KOMODO DRAGON. (Now it'll have lots of food.)

[xaq.livejournal.com]

You pop open the packet of millet seeds and toss them over in the lizard's general direction. Hope you weren't planning on having that for lunch later.

A few of the seeds spray the creature's face, inducing a snarl of discontent. Beyond that, however, it appears to be completely ignoring them and, to a much more relieving extent, you.

(Millet removed from inventory)

[premchaia_pre4]

… hmm. >USE PAINTBRUSH ON SELF.

[xaq.livejournal.com]

You take a moment to look yourself over, and decide that the current color of your plumage could use a little work. With that in mind, you spend a few minutes touching your feathers up with the paintbrush. In no time at all, you've turned yourself into a rather regal shade of purple!

It looks like you could improve on things a little more, though...

(Paintbrush removed from inventory)

[premchaia_pre4]

Hmm. I'd better >SAVE. USE SAE'KROM ON SELF (allowing the punctuation to float; I guess this is a different one?).

[xaq.livejournal.com]

(File saved.)

Uncertain of whether the mapping pen would be able to wound that Komodo dragon, you test it out by trying to poke yourself in the chest with it. The ease with which it pierces your heart comes as quite a shock, in a multitude of ways.

In a flash, you feel Sae'krom's holy magic flood into you, erasing the sin from your spirit as quickly as it erases the life from your body. At least your passing is a peaceful one.

It's a sad thing that your adventure has ended here!!

(Reloading from previous save... ... ...)